


I'll be watching over you

by peter_panda



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, How Do I Tag, I Tried, i miss allison way too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:31:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peter_panda/pseuds/peter_panda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia misses her bestfriend and she summons her one last time.</p><p>(Or in which Allison is dead, Lydia is too broken to move on and Allison talks Lydia into letting her go.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be watching over you

So that's it, she tought. I'm actually doing this.

The candle flames flickered in the breeze. The smell of the pines were a bit overwhelming. Lydia carefully draw the circle on the ground, showing pinecones away here and there. She examined her circle. It was as good as it will get.

Come on.

She closed her eyes and slowly began to chant. At the beginning her voice was too low even for her own ears to catch, but slowly it grew louder and louder. Wind began to chant with her too, blocking any sound other than her heartbeat and the chant.

When she opened her eyes again, there was someone in the circle. Not someone. Allison.

She looked pretty much the same. Dark hair framing her pale, lovely face. Eyes so bright even in the pitch black shadows. Jeans. A black sweater. She was missing her bow and arrows.

And a gaping wound on her abdomen, she tried not to think.

“Hello.” She said hesitantly. She read a lot about this ceramony. Some said they could summon only images, shadows whom cannot talk. Some said they had their bodies and some said they did not. Witchcraft was the furtest away thing from science that she ever saw.

“Hi.” She said in her usual, warm voice and Lydia felt the relief. “I didn't expect it to be you.” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you said you were done with this witchcraft thing?”

“I was done with using it for others.” She corrected. “I decided to use it for myself, just this once.”

“Oh Lydia.” She said suddenly, like she figured something out. She looked distressed. “You are not gonna ressurect me, will you?”

“Why not?” She said defensively.

“It will create far too many problems for you to deal.”

“They will be mine to deal.” Lydia said.

Allison took a deep breath. Lydia still wasn't sure if she was a ghost or a memory or something else.

“I need you to do something for me.” she said in the end, playing with the hem of her sweater.

Lydia's breath got caught in her throat

“Anything.”

Allison looked at her for a second, sadness and fondness in her half smile.

“You need to let go.”

“Let go of what?” Her voice cracked. She tried so hard for it to not to but she failed.

“Of this.” Allison said, pointing the circle. “Of your sadness. Of the pain. Of the mourning.” She looked at her with so much fondness that it made Lydia's chest ache. “Of me.”

“I can't.” She felt her eyes burning with the need of relief.

“You can.” Allison took a few steps towards her, until the circle stopped her from coming any closer. “I know you can, Lydia. You are strong.”

“I'm really not.” She began to cry then, because it was Allison. She was here, after months and she was telling her to let go.

“You are.” Allison smiled at her then, real and open and prideful. “You are so strong, Lydia. So brave. You have always been brave. Why stop now?”

“Because I lost you.” Lydia didn't intend to yell, but it was out of her control at the moment. “You were my strenght. You were my courage-”

“And I always will be.” She tried to reach out to her but the circle was not letting her pass. “I will always be here for you.”

“It's not the same.”

“I know. Lydia, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew how to not leave. But I have to. You understand, right?”

“I don't want to understand.” She sniffed. “It's not just me, you know? Scott and Isaac and Stıles and your dad and-”

“I know.” She looked so sad now. “I'm so sorry. But sometimes we just have to carry on-”

“For fuck's sake, how can you say it like it's so easy? You died, Allison. I watched you die!”  
“We are all going to die, one day.” She said like she was explaining something to a little child. She was so gentle, oh so careful with her. Was she always? She was gentle but the carefulness was new. “At least I got to die in the best way possible. Fighting. Protecting people I cared about.”

“We would appriciate it if you lived for our sake instead.” Lydia said wryly.

“I know. I tried, Lydia. I swear I tried.”

“So you want to leave.”

“I have to leave. It is how it needs to be done.”

Lydia looked at her then. Because it might be the last chance she will ever get. She wanted to remember her face, every tiny detail of it. The way her hair fell into her eyes. The way her nose wrinkled when she smiled too profoundly. The way she was so young and so sweet and so beautiful and so- dear. So dear to her heart.To all of their hearts.

“I will miss you.” She said. “I'm already missing you.”

“I miss you more.” She smiled again, as if she wanted Lydia to remember her like this. Happy and good.

“I know I'm not alone.” Lydia said slowly. “I have all the pack. Still, it felt lonely, you know, without you.” She sniffed again. “I will be lonely.”

“No you won't.” This time Allison frowned. “You will never be lonely. You will always have me.”

“I don't want you to go.” Lydia felt new tears coming out. “I can't. Allison, please. Please don't go. I need you, I-”

“I'm sorry.” She said for the tenth time, maybe. “I'm so sorry, Lydia. I'll be alright. So will you. And the Pack. And my dad. Everything will be alright.”

“How?” She said.

“Trust me.” Allison smiled but her face was shining with tears too. “You trust me, right?”

“Always.” Lydia sniffed again.”

“So smile for me one last time.” 

“I don't think i can-”

“Never frown.” She said, quoting Lydia's own words. “Someone could be falling in love with your smile.”

“This is not fair.”

“Come on, Lydia. Please? For me?”

So she forced herself to smile. Of course she did, as if she could deny her anything.

“That's my girl.” Allison winked at her. “Take care of the pack. And my dad and the town. And my bow.”

“You got it.”

“Take care of yourself.” She said, right before she turned away to leave. “I love you.”

“I love-” She managed to say before she realized Allison was no longer there. The circle was empty. “-you too.” She finished her sentence. She wiped away her tears. She went back home.

The next morning, when she woke up she looked at the mirror, where she stucked a photo of Allison and her. She looked at Allison's smiling face and back to her own in the mirror.

“You are my strength.” She whispered. “You are my courage.”

Later that day, when they met for lunch she smiled to them for the first time after Allison's-after she left. Scott smiled back, teary eyed. They all smiled back, some more forced than the others but still. They did.

I will never be alone, she repeated to herself. And I will never let them be alone.


End file.
